The Doomesday Book (the 2006 Moroccan Edition)

(or gnarly wave dude ...)



Well, this just in ...

"... a Tsunami could hit the Atlantic Ocean after the fall of fragments of a comet that would pass close to earth on May 25, MAP news agency reported." This tsunami "would affect several countries, including Morocco."

On first glance, I confess that I raised my eyebrows at this. After all, one doesn't take chances after Boxing Day 2004 and tomorrow is the 25th of May! This mother of all tsunamis will be ..."brought about by the impact of a comet fragment which will provoke the eruption of under-sea volcanoes."

What to do, what to do? With about 700 dirhams to my name until payday, negating the possibility of flying anywhere except Marrakech, I'm thinking that I should just sit this one out, dispense my worldly belongings, and hum a few bars of Peter Gabriel's Here Comes the Flood (any of the 5 versions that he's recorded - Chrisso will correct me if I've miscounted). Truth is that I still haven't made out a will, so feel free to e-mail me (cat_in_rabat's_pathetic_crap@yahoo.ca) with any requests. Note: my estate is rather pathetic & crappy. My jewellery is accounted for (Heather has been monitoring my health for years with a magpie's eye on my earrings) and there's still my camel collection - the largest private collection, I believe, in Eastern Canada. And of course Donna, my stuffed Phentex wool donkey? - she's a bit long in the tooth but very huggable.

This mother of all tsunamis will be ..."brought about by the impact of a comet fragment which will provoke the eruption of under-sea volcanoes." Oh, but wait! - it's been pooh poohed ...

"This denial [made on Monday by the The Moroccan Meteorological office] comes after the Ufological Research Center warned on its website of a Tsunami danger that would affect several countries, including Morocco. Eric Julien, author of La Science Des Extraterrestres made an alert in his website about Tsunami."

The Ufological Research Center? Ufo - logical?!! Bwahahahahahahahaha!!!! Apparently, M. Julien "claims that he has received information psychically". And for a moment I actually thought that Morocco was in possession of the world's most advanced tsunami detection system. I had no idea that numbered among the world's most imminent metereological prognosticators, was Marvin the Martian. Well, in keeping with my Looney Tunes theme, to quote Bugs Bunny, it is to laugh.

But perhaps I shouldn't be so quick to ridicule dismiss the possibility of Other Worldly sources for the big curl. After the 2004 tsunami, the newspaper of Morocco's Islamic party, PJD, stated that the disaster showed God's displeasure with South-East Asia's sex tourism industry. It was, they said, "an act of divine retribution". Ouch! In Rabat alone, some 5,000 people demonstrated in support of the newspaper. The little green men may be equally capricious in meting out natural disasters as Allah, but hopefully they're less vindictive.

This morning I heard that in spite of broadcasts categorically denying any factual basis to this news release, there are some gullible souls who passed a sleepless night last evening in anticipation of the Big One. It's the War of the Worlds all over again but instead of Orson Welles, we have Erich von Daniken.

Dude, I bet the surfers at Essaouria are bummed. The camels, who ply the beach there, are no doubt relieved.

Addendum: and yes, I know that the Doomesday Book had nothing to do with catastrophic events but I couldn't think of another title, so no need to correct me.