Thursday, April 17, 2008

Going Apeshit

 id=I don't much like monkeys. And by monkey, I mean anything that even remotely looks like one, so that would include apes, chimps, Mandrills, gibbons, Jerry Lewis and the Olson twins. A few weeks ago I vented my spleen against the thieving little self-gratifiers in Gib and during the passing of those few weeks my opinion hasn't changed much. I still hate them.

Having said that, I don't want to see them dead either.

Dead? you ask. Indeed. Gib's government has just announced its intention to "cull" about 25 of Gibraltar's barbary apes which have made their home on the east side of the rock at Catalan Bay. Homeowners in Catalan Bay, which is seeing a flurry of building activity (namely villas in the half a million pound range) are none too pleased to see the thieving little self-gratifiers in their backyards. And on their terraces. And rummaging through their garbage cans.

Homeowners are probably thrilled to bits but others are not so happy. Conservationists, including the International Primate Protection League (IPPL), have been noticeably vocal in their condemnation of the ape-genocide. Killing the apes will not solve the problem of population mismanagement. As primatologist Robert Martin - who boycotted the last cull in 2003 - says in regard to the current situation: "It is quite disgraceful that, despite receiving sound advice in 1997, the people in charge of the macaques have taken no effective a id=ction to manage the population in a way that would benefit all concerned."

While I don't doubt that the thieving little self-gratifiers are a humongous pain in the ass - scrounging through garbage, entering & ransacking hotel rooms, and biting those who venture too close to them, and just being butt-ugly - putting the lot down seems a bit extreme. And will Gib's gunslingers stop there? Slippery slope, my friend!

An online petition has been created by the IPPL to draw the public's attention to this crise des apes. Should you want to help save the thieving little self-gratifiers, click here. They will undoubtedly thank you ... long enough to distract you from that picnic basket you're carrying.

4 comments:

senor g.g. said...

Poor guys. As much as I hate them, I don´t want them killed!

However at the very least, they should train the monkeys to perform useful tasks like pulling pints of ale or cleaning tables!

Anonymous said...

Poor things.
Why does the government not just feed them with a birth control ingrediant to cut down on the population. They have done it before on other over-populated groups.

Annabellie said...

Gosh, it must be so hard to have a giant, half-million pound villa and, on top of all the troubles that come from being rich, have to deal with the apes too! My heart truly goes out to those homeowners...

La Gatita Gringa said...

Apparently they are trying to introduce birth control into the ape community but with limited success. Perhaps the bastards are refusing to wear their condoms.

Anne ... how can your heart not go out to these homeowners? I suspect that these evil filthy creatures are harassing the serving staff during afternoon brunch.