Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Squirrelly Thoughts

They can be a high level imperative/OO programming computer language or a common rodent. Among the latter - because I know zippo about scripting tools - they have names like Fox and Douglas, American Red and Eastern Grey. They come in red and grey, black and albino. They Some fly although most don't. A very famous one comes from Frostbite Falls although most don't. They are omnivores but cannot digest cellulose. Their brains are the size of a walnut which is interesting because they eat walnuts. Until 1975, they appeared in The Joy of Cooking.

And they now appear in the window of a local pet store.

Yes, it seems that squirrels - and chipmunks - are among La Línea's pet of choice. The squirrels in question are of the red variety which is good news for kids since The Joy of Cooking suggests that red squirrels taste quite gamey and should be passed over in favour of grey squirrels, so there's no fear that Mr. Nutty's cage will be culled near dinner time.

Chipmunks apparently taste rather nasty.

I confess that I can't quite get my head around this one. Perhaps denizens of whichever country(ies) hedgehogs call home felt the same thing when those spiny little creatures became all the rage in North America.

But squirrels? Chipmunks? How much fun can they be? Do they purr? Do they fetch? Beyond teaching them to eat out of your hand - which even my goldfish learned to do (and they played chase and hide & seek) - the best you can expect is to have the power lines in your backyard chewed to bits.

Of course, I'm just wilfully contrary because a squirrel that I once tried to
tame bit me - this after my mother told me to stay away from it. She was right. My hand hurt. And I didn't have the nerve to tell her and I spent weeks feverishly vigilant for signs of rabies. Fortunately, irritability, bizarre thoughts, and abnormal postures are among its symptoms so my parents were none the wiser.

Presumably the fellows in the pet store window don't have rabies, and in their honour I raise my voice in song:

How much is that doggie rodent in the window? (arf! arf!) (squeak! squeak!)
The one with the waggley bushy tail
How much is that doggie rodent in the window? (arf! arf!) (squeak! squeak!)
I do hope that doggie's rodent 's for sale

Not.

4 comments:

Lenox said...

They say that guinea pigs make good eating (conejito de india). At least - in Peru where they are called 'cuí' (or some such). Me, I stick to things in cans...
Still, with the transport strike upon us and empty supermarkets looming, the pets are starting to look a bit anxious.

Anonymous said...

Here in Kentucky there is nothing tastier than B.B.Que squirrel. And we don't care what color they are.
Who would want a squirrel for a pet any way.

Anonymous said...

I live in a college town, the squirrels here get a crazy look in their eyes sometimes....they are well-known for dropping acorns on students as they walk under the oak trees. I wouldn't trust a squirrel as a pet at all.

Anonymous said...

"Hey Rocky! Watch me pull a rabbit from this hat"