The "Creative Writer" Blogger Award

I'm pretty certain that the last time I won anything of any lasting value was the Spelling Bee award which I nailed in grade 6 but - lo & behold! - it seems that I have been tagged with a (and I quote) "chain blog post award-doohickey-thingy". Naturally, acceptance of this very ponderously momentous honour is attended by a well-defined codex of Rigorous Rules, by which I must abide lest I be demoted to Miss Congeniality Chain Blog Post Award-Doohickey-Thingy.

The Codex

1. Thank the person who gave this to you. (grazie mille Boudreau Freret – I'm reluctant to delve too deeply into the reasons you tagged me, but I suspect that this was a pity-tag. Not that that makes me any less grateful.

2. Copy the logo and place it on your blog. Check. I don't really like the logo. Surely we could have done better, no?

3. Link to the person who nominated you. Didn't I just do that? Isn't that what Point #1 was all about? In my mind, this seems like a rather ham-fisted excuse to shamelessly promote draw attention to my nominator yet again. *Sigh* Here he is (again). I'd be really peeved by this if it weren't for the fact that I effusively encourage all three of my regular readers to visit Monsieur Freret's fabulously eloquent blog.

4. Tell up to six outrageous lies about yourself, and at least one outrageous truth - or - switch it around and tell six outrageous truths and one outrageous lie. I never lie. (Ooops! - was that number 1 already?)

5. Nominate seven "Creative Writers" who might have fun coming up with outrageous lies, or who have outrageous truths to share. Check.

6. Post links to the seven blogs you nominate. Duhhhh ...

7. Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know you nominated them. Natch.

Now for the challenge - let's see if you can separate the sheep from the goats:

1. I can’t brush my teeth in the bathroom; instead, I wander nomadically throughout my home as I brush brush brush. (I have no problems being stationary while I floss.) Now that we're in Iraq, I see this irritating quirky little trait as a boon since most bathrooms here are not equipped with sinks. Sinks tend to be out in the hallway. It's like I've been in training for this moment all my life.

2. When I was growing up, Eugene Levy was our family babysitter. Oddly - and to this day - my brother is often mistaken for Gene. Must be the unibrow.

3. My mouth (in which butter seldom melts) still calls itself home to a now rather misshapen baby - or milk if you prefer - tooth. I know - as sure as God made little green apples - that this is my personal Heaven-appointed Fountain of Youth (oh, where art thou Ponce de León?) - my own The Picture of Dorian Gray. Once it is gone - alas! there is no adult tooth below the gum line, patiently waiting (like Prince Charles) for its moment in the sun - it is gone, and I will age into a toothless (or one tooth less) crone overnight.

4. I have a not well-kept secret passion for any book - fiction or non-fiction - about the Knights Templar, and by extension, the Crusades. Christ! - dress an orangutan in a flowing white mantle with a pretty red cross on it and Dan Brown I'd be all over it. What's there not to love about a great ape delivering the Holy Places of Christianity from Mohammedan tyranny?

5. I love the film Ishtar. I not very briefly considered making I Look to Mecca the first song at my wedding.

6. I am incredibly shy.

7. I can write (indeed I am remarkably dexterous) with both of my feet but amazingly, no one has offered to make a film about me. Admittedly my "penmanship" was much much better before my foot surgery of several years back but perhaps this particular footnote makes my toehold on writing all the more film-worthy.

And in random order, I give you the names (and links) of those poor sods lucky lucky chosen to whom I proudly pass the baton:

1. Mr. Words Worth
2. Dainty Ballerina
3. Amazing Susan @ Amazing Women Rock
4. Flawnt
5. Miss Footloose
6. Zehra Mustafa
7. Joanna @ popculturedivas and missculture

The game is afoot!