Sunday, July 11, 2010

A Short Note From Celeste (the Dog)

Hello. It's been a week of ups and downs, and because I can't help but feel that I am immensely more popular than the Human-Bitch who writes this blog, I thought I'd check in with you all. It's currently 48° and I have to tell you: border collies just weren't made for this weather. Where in the UK does it ever reach 48°? - Celsius or Fahrenheit? When I was living at Bomb-Sniffing School (certificate forthcoming), I had my own air-conditioned kennel (well yes, I did have a kennel mate, but still ...). And then last night, on top of everything esle, our Swamp Thing died. I mean, what else? Honestly, it's hotter than a bitch in heat here.

Secondly, I understand that the Human-Bitch and her mate are going on holiday soon. And contrary to what she
blogged about recently, I don't think that I'm included in their plans. In fact, I took a peek at Her Mate's e-mail and I know for a fact that he contacted my Bomb-Sniffing School kennel to see if they had any vacancies. I´ll be surprised if they even come to get me when they get back. Tongues are going to wag over that juicy little tidbit if I get dumped there permanently. At least it's air-conditioned ...

The big news though - and although I know nothing about sports - is that tonight is the World Cup finals and Spain, I am told, is going to win the whole shebang. I don´t even know what a shebang is. In order to show my support for the team, I was decked out as a Spanish bull (see above photo) which although cute, is rather undignified for a dog
considered to be THE Most intelligent breed in the whole wide world (including Iraq). I've never actually seen a football match mind you, because whenever there's been a game, the two of them just trotted down to the sports bar in town, leaving me behind - and then came back all tiddly at 12 in the morning with no regard at all for my feelings. Maybe I'd like to see a game too.

Nonetheless, this is Spain's first ever showing in the finals, and I did want to please the Human-Bitch and her mate, in spite of the fact that they won't be taking me to watch the game tonight, and they won't be taking me on holiday with them, and they probably won't be getting the Swamp Thing fixed anytime soon.

That's about it. I hope Spain wins tonight because I never get tired of watching the two of them crash around the house singing ¡Podemos, podemos ... sí, Españ
a! ("We can do it, yes we can - Spain!" ... it´s far far better on YouTube, by the way) at the top of their lungs, which they apparently did when Spain won the Euro Cup in 2008. Thank God for them that the national football team´s little chant only has three words.


Celeste the Dog

p.s. Go Spain!


Snowflake said...

Oh Celeste. Yes, she is a Human-Bitch. I'm sorry for you but she's really a nice person at the end of the day. You actually look as cute as a bug in those horns. I can't wait to meet you! And I can't WAIT UNTIL SPAIN WINS THE CUP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Hello Celeste (The Dog)
There is no way that you could ever look like a mean ugly bull so take those horns off.
When your bipedal owners come back from their vacation you are going to have to ignore them for a number of days. That will teach them to never go away without you.However, I have it on good authority that they will definitely come back for you because they love you very much.

Cath said...

The Spanish bull costume appeared to do the trick, Celeste. Spain eventually put a ball in a net, thereby winning top honours in what must be the most tedious sport in the world.